Topic: Victoria Delacroix - Denied

[Victoria Delacroix]

First and Last Name:Victoria Delacroix
Bloodline:Pure-blood
Hair Color:Brunette
Eye Color:Hazel-Green
General Build:Slightly overweight
Height:Average
Birthplace:London, England
Brief Childhood History:Victoria Delacroix was born and raised by Elizabeth and Michael Delacroix, former members of Slytherin. They often treated her like royalty (and still do), and favored her over her younger sister. She would always get everything she pleased- in contrast to her sister Rose, who isn't admitted into Hogwarts yet. Occasionally, she and her sister would disagree on certain things, which would lead into major arguments.
    Victoria lived in a beautifully exquisite manor, that was elegantly fashioned in a calm, peaceful neighborhood where crime and robbery usually didn't occur. Because of this wonderful, happy life, Victoria is extremely selfish. She was raised to think that Muggles were worthless and useless, and that Purebloods would eventually dominate the world. She is multitalented in almost everything: singing, writing, playing musical instruments (piano), and acting. Altohugh she was never in any plays, she enjoys creating her own world around her that involves being multiple characters at one time.
    When she received the letter inviting her to Hogwarts, she was so excited she jumped for joy all over her home. She knew she was magically gifted from the start, because of her parents being Purebloods. She got everything prepared and ready to go, and she left her childhood home very swiftly. Although she loved her parents dearly, she vowed to never return there while she was at Hogwarts (unless there was a summer vacation of some sort).
Strengths (Including Personality and Academic): She is gifted in Potions, Charms, Music, and treating others terribly.  
Weaknesses (Including Personality and Academic): She is weak in  Arithmancy, Earth Magic, Muggle Studies, and being loving and kind towards the people that are her enemies.
What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: Victoria certainly belongs in Slytherin, because she is greedy, arrogantly proud, and she is very stubborn towards her superiors. She is also very cunning and wise when it comes to getting what she wants...  

 



 

[Sue]

Hi and welcome to hprpg

Before we can do anything, I need you to go and fix your formatting.  An entirely bold character sheet is extremely hard to read. So if you could just bold the headings (First and Last Name, etc) that would make it a lot easier.

When you've made your edits, please switch your title from 'Pending' to 'Edited' and someone will come along and have another look.

[Ninjela]

Thank you for fixing the formatting! It is now much easier to read

Now, looking at your character sheet, there are some things I'm going to ask you to change:

-For 'General Build' we ask that you choose one of the three provided words: petite, average, or large.

-For 'Strengths' and 'Weaknesses,' we like to see a bit more detail, so it's not quite so list-like. What makes her good at potions and charms? Her ability to focus? Organizational skills? Similarly, why is Arithmancy challenging for her? Also, it might not hurt to elaborate on non-academic strengths and weaknesses. You mention greed, cunning, and wisdom in stating what house she belongs in... might those be considered strengths or weaknesses?

Once you've made these changes, modify the title of this thread from 'Pending' to 'Edited' once more and we can move forward

[Jayce]

As it's been over two weeks since we've last asked you to make changes, I'm going to deny this character sheet for now. Please feel free to post your sheet again at a later date with the requested changes!