Author Topic: Sallacia Crystal - Denied  (Read 515 times)

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Sallacia Crystal

Sallacia Crystal - Denied
« on: 07 Nov 2011, 10:18 am »
First and Last Name: Sallacia Crystal

Bloodline: Pure-blood
Hair Color: Dark Chestnut
Eye Color: Green
General Build: Very narrow shoulders and thin
Height: 5"2

Birthplace: Oxford, England
Brief Childhood History: Sallacia Crystal was brought up in a large manor in Oxford which has belonged to her family for many generations. Her Mother and Father are both pure-bloods. Her Mother is Head Auror at the ministry and her Father is Senior Adviser to the Minister.
Since Sallacia was born, she has known she was a wizard as her parents use magic around the house everyday. They both have a love for quidditch and were on the house team so Sallacia has adopted that love. Each year, for her birthday, Sallacia is bought the latest broom. She has always been taught that reading and studying is good so she loves school and is very academic.

Strengths (Including Personality and Academic): A* Student, very academic, Strong-willed, Brave, Bold, Daring, Willing to Stick up for what she feels is right, Reading, Athletic, Willing to fight, Chivalrous, always looking for a new adventure, Noble, Stickler for rules, Playing Quidditch
Weaknesses (Including Personality and Academic): Afraid of being called 'stupid', hates it if people don't like it, wishy-washy subjects like Divination
What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: I feel that my character belongs in Griffindor because she has everything a good Griffindor needs. She is brave and will stand up for people, she hates to be mean and upset people and she really wants to make a good impression on everyone. My character would make a wonderful addition to Griffindor because she truly wants to become the best witch she can be and will go to any lengths to put in the effort and determination needed.
« Last Edit: 01 Dec 2011, 10:23 pm by Jayce »

Offline Tany

Re: Sallacia Crystal
« Reply #1 on: 08 Nov 2011, 08:42 pm »
Heya Sallacia and welcome to HPRPG~!

However, before we can sort you, there are a few things that need editing. ^^ First, in the 'general build' and 'height' sections we're only looking for one of the three adjectives we give you to chose from on the sheet, so if you could pick from those that'd be great.

Second, in her history we're looking for a bit more information about Sallacia. Could you give us a bit more about how she grew up? You say she loved school, so I'm assuming she attended a school- was it a public school (despite being pureblood?), was she homeschooled? What sort of things did she do for fun and that sort of thing. Keep in mind that while her parents have bought her a broom she won't be able to use it at Hogwarts until her second year. ;3

Thirdly, can you fill out her strengths and weaknesses in a manner that isn't list-like? Additionally, try to even them out-- it's not always good to have a dozen more strengths than weaknesses, after all. Perhaps toss in some 'why's-- why is she strong willed, bold, academic, atheletic, and all of these fancy things? And why is her only weakness 'fear of being called stupid'? I'm also confused by what 'hates it if people don't like it' means...

Once you've made the above changes just swap the title from 'pending' to 'edited'.

Offline Jayce

Re: Sallacia Crystal - Pending
« Reply #2 on: 01 Dec 2011, 10:23 pm »
As it's been over two weeks since we've last asked you to make changes, I'm going to deny this character sheet for now. Please feel free to post your sheet again at a later date with the requested changes! ;)

Colby Lovell | Madoc Kruszewski