Author Topic: Talia Jones - Approved [S]  (Read 558 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Talia Jones

Talia Jones - Approved [S]
« on: 01 Sep 2011, 01:12 pm »
First and Last Name: Talia Jones
________________________ ________________
Bloodline:  Pure Blood
Hair Color: Dirty Blonde
Eye Color: Green
General Build: Average
Height: Average
________________________ ________________
Birthplace: Carlingford, Ireland
Brief Childhood History: Talia Jones was born to Wendy and Forrest Jones on November 9th. She grew up in a fairly wealthy household on the outskirts of Carlingford, considering her parents were both highly respected Purebloods at the ministry. They cared for her very much, but couldn’t be around as often as possible… so Talia was left to raise her sisters mostly on her own. Her sister’s names were Juliet and Scarlet, they were both seven years old, twins in fact. Talia loved them a lot, but they were quite the handful.
 When Talia wasn’t watching her sisters, she’d be out exploring the areas around her estate. All around were rivers and trees, and out in the meadow around her house, she met her best friend Kurt. Kurt was the one who made her disobey her parents orders and become friends with a Muggle. You see, Wendy and Forrest were against the communication between muggles and wizards. But almost every afternoon, Talia would go out into that meadow and play with Kurt… until one day her father came out and saw her. She was dragged into her room and not allowed to leave the house. So ever since Talia was 9, she’s been stuck in her house, reading book after book, listening to her parents ranting on and one about how muggle’s and muggle-borns are not allowed to be her friends. Even though she completely disagreed with the concept at first, it started to get to her…but she still awaited the day her letter would come…

 
________________________ ________________
Strengths (At least three, including Personality and Academic): Although Talia is a very outgoing girl, when someone’s in trouble she has no problem with rushing to the rescue. In school Talia excels in subjects she enjoys, such as potions and defense against the dark arts. Also, she is a very fast learner, only needing to hear things once before knowing how to do them.  Another asset of Talia is that she is very clever!

Weaknesses (At least three, including Personality and Academic): Talia’s bravery isn’t always a good thing. When she wants to run to the rescue she sometimes does something without thinking, causing  a less than planned result. She’s extremely bad in Transfiguration, always exploding animals instead of turning them into cups. A fault of Talia’s is that she can be very snobby, always bragging of her pureblood status. Finally, another impussiance of hers is that she is always confused on who to be friends with, fearing the wrath of her parents.

What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: I feel my character belongs in Slytherin because she has a long history of ancestors in it. She also has the traits of Slytherins… Cunning, Clever, The want for power and the occasional arrogance!
« Last Edit: 08 Sep 2011, 06:17 pm by Tany »

Offline Tany

Re: Talia Jones
« Reply #1 on: 02 Sep 2011, 01:18 pm »
Heya Talia and welcome to HPRPG~!

However, before we can sort you, there are a few things that need editing. ^^ First and foremost, can you bold the beginning of each category? IE: First and Last Name: Talia Jones. It makes it easier to read. <3

Secondly, her history is sounding a bit like Neville's at the beginning what with Bellatrix torturing her parents into insanity with the Cruciatus curse. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask that you remove that, specifically because Bellatrix went after Neville's parents for information because they were in the Order of the Phoenix; and inserting Bellatrix into Talia's history counters canon information we know about Bellatrix and is, essentially, godmoding a canon.

Additionally, in her strengths, you mention her ability with spells surpasses her classmates- while you're welcome to play Talia out as smart and good with magic, there is still the chance of her failing with certain spells. ;3

Once you've made the above changes just swap the title from 'pending' to 'edited' and we'll continue with your sorting from there.

Offline Sue

Re: Talia Jones - Edited
« Reply #2 on: 04 Sep 2011, 02:57 pm »
Hi again :D

Just a couple more things that need to be changed~

If you could just give us a little more information about Talia in the History section, it would be much appreciated. We know a fair bit about her background but not much about her and her personality and the things she likes to do.

And also, just for informational purposes, ancestors being in any given house has nothing to do with whether or not the child gets sorted into said house.  :sweatdrop: It's based on the personality of the student~

Switch your title from pending to edited again when you're done! :D

all my love for Tany

Offline Tany

Re: Talia Jones - Edited
« Reply #3 on: 08 Sep 2011, 06:17 pm »
:approveds: