Author Topic: Alistair Leifmund- Approved [S]  (Read 463 times)

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Alistair Leifmund

Alistair Leifmund- Approved [S]
« on: 28 Jul 2011, 07:36 pm »
First and Last Name: Alistair Robert Leifmund

Bloodline: Half-Blood
Hair Color:  Brown
Eye Color: Blue
General Build: Petite
Height: Average

Birthplace: London
Brief Childhood History: Alistair grew up in foster with his father's best friend. When Alistair was born his mother,a witch, left, and hasn't been seen or heard from since. His father, a muggle, died when he was three of a heart attack, and Alistair was left to the care of his father's best friend due to the fact none of his family wanted him. However, Alistair was given to John due to his father's will, who stated John as his legal guardian. Willing to fill his friends last request, John grudgingly agreed to raise Alistair. Growing up was hard, because John, his father's friend, never wanted Alistair, so he made him work in the factories. John promised Alistair once he turned 11 he could start having some of the money his father left him. He also has some of his savings from his factory work saved up. As a child Alistair never liked John. Even since the day he sent him to work in the factory Alistair has had a desire to run away, but he never could save enough money to actually leave. With John being a muggle Alistair knew nothing of the magical world. Magic was something he dreamed of, but never something he thought was actually REAL. Alistair loved to adventure, and took every opportunity he could to duck out of the house and go exploring, sometimes to his detriment. He often came home with scrapes and bruises on his arms and legs. Alistair also loved to read very much, and in the evenings he would grab a book off of John's shelf and begin reading. What it was didn't matter to Alistair. He would go from the history of World War I to the mechanical engineering of an airplane in a week. Knowledge was his escape, and he used it often.

Strengths (Including Personality and Academic): Alistair loves to crack one liners. He loves making people laugh, and tries to do so in any situation. Sometimes, he will crack jokes in a sad situation in the hopes of making people laugh and changing the mood. He also cares about everyone and tries to help anyone and everyone he can. It doesn't matter to Alistair where you're from, your social status, or even if he knows you or not. If you are in trouble Alistair wants to help. When he sets his mind to something, it gets done. He is very determined. However, the problem comes in setting his mind to things. He also is very adventurous, always wanting to go off on the next great exploration in his life and fill his life with thrills. However, Alistair also gets distracted easily, so this combined with the adventurousness can prove troublesome for his homework at times. Alistair is highly skilled in Charms magic, although he doesn't know it yet. He is very intelligent and understands things the first time.
Weaknesses (Including Personality and Academic): By wanting to help everyone, Alistair can sometimes trust to easy, and allow people to take complete advantage of his hospitality. Many a time at school he has tried to help people and they have just used him to one end or another. His adventuring can also be a problem when there are things that have to be done. Being distracted easily hurts his homework production, and Alistair often finds himself scrambling to get the days assignment done minutes before class starts. Alistair will often times run headlong into things without thing about whats happening or the consequences. At times he can also be a little mischievous, playing little harmless pranks on his friends whom he knows can take it. Alistair doesn't do well in Divination. He doesn't believe in the hocus pocus art of seeing the future. He believes the future cannot be read, and even if it is it doesn't matter and can easily be changed. Alistair also dislikes History of Magic. History isn't a subject he likes to be taught. Alistair would much rather teach himself such topics, as teacher's tend to dally too long on the wrong parts of history to do any good.
What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: I believe Alistair belongs in Slytherin. He is smart beyond his years and always finds ways to figure things out in ways people don't normally turn to. He aspires to be the best he can be and always enjoys healthy competition
« Last Edit: 31 Jul 2011, 02:29 pm by Jayce »

Offline Sue

Re: Alistair Leifmund
« Reply #1 on: 29 Jul 2011, 03:16 pm »
Hi and welcome to hprpg!

Just a few things we're going to have to ask you to fix. First of all, we ask that you use one of the options provided on the blank sheet (short, average, tall) for the height field. In addition, 5'7" is much too tall for an 11 year old, which is how old Alistair would be as he will be sorted as a first year.  :lol:


Also, we're going to have to ask that you give us a bit more detail about Alistair's childhood. What sort of things did he like to do? How did he feel about his guardian? Was his guardian magical or muggle? Just give us a little bit more about his life.

Same goes for the strengths and weaknesses sections. They should be in paragraph form rather than just a list.

When you've made your changes, switch your subject line from 'Pending' to 'Edited' and someone will come and have another look. :D

all my love for Tany

Offline Jayce

Re: Alistair Leifmund-Edited
« Reply #2 on: 30 Jul 2011, 10:24 pm »
Hi there!

Thank you for making the edits, but there are still a few things that need to be attended to. ;)

First, for the 'general build' section, please choose one of the three words provided for you on the official character sheet.

Second, I'm not entirely sure why Alistair was given to John to raise, if John didn't want him in the first place? Now, if Alistair's father had said in a will that John was supposed to raise Alistair, then that would make sense, or that John took Alistair in as a last favour to his friend. Whatever it may be, please edit this portion of his childhood so that it seems more believable.

Third, please include core-classes that Alistair would succeed in (strengths) and struggle with (weaknesses).

Once you've done that, just switch the title again. :D

Colby Lovell | Madoc Kruszewski

Offline Jayce

Re: Alistair Leifmund- Edited
« Reply #3 on: 31 Jul 2011, 02:04 pm »
You will still need to provide a core-class that Alistair struggles with, since Divination is a class that he will only get to take starting in his third year. ;)

Just change the title again when you're done.

Colby Lovell | Madoc Kruszewski

Offline Jayce

Re: Alistair Leifmund- Edited
« Reply #4 on: 31 Jul 2011, 02:12 pm »
Since Slytherin is currently closed, I'm going to stick you onto the waiting list. If at any point you would like to change houses for Ruby, simply edit the sheet accordingly and reply here. :D

Colby Lovell | Madoc Kruszewski

Offline Jayce

Re: Alistair Leifmund- Waiting [S-1]
« Reply #5 on: 31 Jul 2011, 02:28 pm »
:approveds:

Colby Lovell | Madoc Kruszewski