Topic: Chyna Sofia Wood - Approved [G]

[Chyna Sofia Wood]

First and Last Name: Chyna Sofia Wood
Bloodline:Muggleborn
Hair Color:Medium Brown
Eye Color:Light brown
General Build:Average
Height:Average
Birthplace:Surrey, England
 
Brief Childhood History:Chyna Sofia Wood Grew up In Surrey,England to loving muggle parents who were happy to have a daughter that was smart But they were sad to find out that she was bullied at her old school, so they sent her to Stonewall primary school and she had made better friends that didn't bully her. She attended Stonewall Primary School a Public school in Surrey Where she Was loved by everyone for Her kindness and bravery, Her best Friends were Lola Scott and Dianelli Parks. They always hung out together at the mall and they went swimming at times. She Was very good at science, and math but she also loved reading. One day when she had gone back home her parents had a letter in their hand and she found an owl on their sofa. When her parents had given her the letter she was shocked and so were her parents. She couldn't wait till The First day of Hogwarts.

Strengths (Including Personality and Academic): Chyna Is a brave, loyal, smart girl . She is very good at math, and reading, science, and history but she also lovs swimming, bowling, and racing. She is a strong girl who has a warm heart but she doesn't Like bullying. She would probably Succeed in Potions And History of magic.

Weaknesses (Including Personality and Academic): Chyna Hates Junk food She Loves her veggies but hates everything that's junky Like greasy food but She eats them Sometimes. She is not very good at Chemistry or Playing instruments but she has a pretty decent tune on the piano. Chyna Is easily annoyed and she hates bragging. She probably Wouldn't do Very Good in Transfiguration since It wouldn't make sense to her.

What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: Gryffindor Or Ravenclaw mostly Gryffindor . Chyna Is a kind, smart girl she is also loyal and brave, bold and strict (Sometimes) and she loves animals of all kinds, she loves all people except the ones who are mean to her and her friends.  

 

[Jayce]

Hi there! Welcome to HPRPG!

Before we can sort you, there are just a few things to attend to.

First of all, can you take out the bold coding? It makes the sheet very hard to read. Feel free to keep the coding on just the section starters though.

Secondly, in you'll have to edit out 'elementary school' for 'primary school', which is the most common term in reference to a school for that particular age group. If you could also give us more information on Chyna and how she grew up, that would be great. Maybe include things like if she had any specific friends? What was her relationship with her parents like? And since we're still on summer holiday, you'll be able to role play out Chyna going to Diagon Alley and the train station, so please edit that portion out.

Thirdly, in the 'Strengths' portion, we'll need a Hogwarts core-class that Chyna will do well in, while in the 'Weaknesses' portion, we'll need one that she'll struggle with. In addition, in the 'Weaknesses' portion, you've given up things like Chyna dislikes and is not good at, but not really any personality weaknesses. Is she easily annoyed? Does she have a short temper? Does she get distracted easily? Things like that.

Fourthly, you'll need to choose a specific house for Chyna. We feel like this is an important developmental decision that should be made by the driver.

And finally, please go back and edit the sheet for grammar and spelling mistakes, because there are several.

Once you've done all that, change the title from 'pending' to 'edited'!

[Chyna Sofia Wood]

Ok , I fixed the Things That needed to To be Edited  and added a bit more Childhood history and the other stuff . Sorry for any other Mistakes 

[Jayce]

Thank you for making the edits, but there are still a few issues.

The weaknesses section is still very much like a list of things Chyna dislikes. Personality weaknesses should be things that pertain to Chyna herself, and not her opinions or perceptions onto other people or things. So instead of saying that she is annoyed by other people, which is a dislike, you can instead say that Chyna is very easily annoyed, which would be a personality weakness. If you're having trouble with this section, definitely check out other character sheets that have been approved — it can be very helpful.

In addition, we'll need a core-class that Chyna will struggle with, since Arithmancy isn't a class she'll take until her third year.

Finally, you seemed to have fixed some of the grammar issues, but you still have a lot of unnecessary capitalization and odd spaces with your punctuation. Remember that capitalization is only needed at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns, and you don't need spaces before a punctuation. I've edited a portion of your sheet below as an example:

Chyna is a brave, loyal, and smart girl. She is very good at math, and reading, science, and history but she also loves swimming, bowling, and racing. She is a strong girl who has a warm heart but she doesn't like when people bully others and she doesn't get why they do that. She would probably succeed in Potions and History of Magic.

If English isn't your native language or you find yourself having problems with grammar, please let us know because we are always more than willing to help.

And of course, just switch the title again when you're done.

[Chyna Sofia Wood]

I Fixed Everything and The Punctuation Errors.  No, English Isn't my language,  but Im fluent in it a bit. My Native Language is Italian But Im fine. 

[Sue]

Hi again

There's still a little problem with your capitalization.  Words like 'happy' and 'sad' should not be capitalized. That's reserved for words that are in the beginning of a sentence, or for proper words like someone's name or a place like Hogwarts or Gryffindor House. So if you could go through and take care of those pesky capital letters, you should be good to go~

Switch your titles again when you're done!

[Chyna Sofia Wood]

Fixed ! 

[Jayce]