Topic: Kali Knight - Denied

[Kali Knight]

First and Last Name: Kali Knight

Bloodline:Half Human, Half Wizard

Hair Color:  Waist-length black hair

Eye Color: Robin egg blue eyes

General Build: Slim

Height: 4 feet, 5 inches

Birthplace: London, England

Brief Childhood History:

 Kali Knight was born on December 12, 2000 in London, England. She and her parents lived there until she was 4 before moving to a small town called Battle. She grew up with her wizard dad and her muggle mother until she went to Hogwarts.

Before she left her father told Kali's mother, Rose, which caused some disbelief. Her mother didn't believe him and went to go call the cops when she got hit by a dump truck. Kali wouldn't have believed that happened if she didn't see it, but she did she her get hit. Ever since then her father has kept quiet almost making Kali want to stay home instead if going to Hogwarts. Her father, Rick, made her go. So she left him alone and promised to visit him during the  holidays.

Strengths (Including Personality and Academic):
Is a good student in History of Magic and Transfiguration. She also is good at swimming, writing, and singing.

Weaknesses (Including Personality and Academic):
Kali weaknesses are mostly in muggle sports (besides swimming) and wizard sports. She is also bad in  drawing and gardening. At school she stinks in Charms and Potions.

What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why:
Ravenclaw because she is creative, studios, loyal, and has a good sense of humor. She also dreams of leading at one point in her life.

[Jayce]

Hi there! Welcome to HPRPG!

Before we can get you sorted, there are a few things that need to be attended to.

Firstly, could you edit the 'bloodline' portion so it reads 'halfblood'? The way you've written it now makes it sound as if Kali is the product of two different species,  but wizards are humans too. Secondly, you'll also need to edit the 'general build' and 'height' sections so that you use one of the three adjectives provided for you on the official character sheet.

Thirdly, please remove the year of Kali's birth, since here at HPRPG, our timeline isn't really that strict.

Fourthly, the fact that Kali's mother was only told about wizardry right before Kali left for Hogwarts seems highly unbelievable. Kali would have shown signs of magic before then, which I'm sure Rose would have noticed. So if you could edit this portion to make it more plausible, that'd be great. And while you're doing that, if you could just add a bit more to Kali's history if you can. Maybe something about the school she went to before or if she had any friends.

Finally, we're going to need more from you in the 'strengths' and 'weaknesses' section. The academic part is fine, but we don't get any sense of Kali's personality. The things you have listed like swimming, writing, drawing and such, aren't personality characteristics, but rather things Kali can or cannot do. Characteristics that would work for this portion are things like fussy, bossy, being a pushover, laziness, being too hyper, etc. If you need ideas or a better grasp of this portion, it's always helpful to look at character sheets that have been approved.

Once you've done all that, please change the title from 'pending' to 'edited' and we'll go from there!

[Jayce]

As it's been over two weeks since we've last asked you to make changes, I'm going to deny this character sheet for now. Please feel free to post your sheet again at a later date with the requested changes!