Topic: Kylie Gibbon - Denied

[Kylie Gibbon]

First and Last Name: Kylie Gibbon
Bloodline:muggleborn
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Dark Brown
General Build:average
Height: average
Birthplace: Manchester, UK
Brief Childhood History: Her parents died when she was 3 and she has lived with has gran ever since. Her gran is very kind and loving but very stern. She went to a normal school as any muggle would and never thought a single thing about magic until she was 8 and turned her neighbors' yard blue. It has only been confirmed when she accidentally set her gran's wig collection on fire when she was mad one day because of some school yard bullies. she had 1 friend but she moved late last year so no others ties to home besides gran. She passed all my school exams and she never really spent much of my time doing anything exciting except for the sudden burst of magic every now and then.
Strengths: She is very Noble and trustworthy. Also she will be very good in Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, an History of magic.
Weaknesses: She tend to be a little too outgoing and try to as far as possible, even beyond possible, without any help. She is also a compulsive talker and has restless energy. She doesn't plan on being very good in Arithmancy not very good at that type of work.
What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: Maybe she should be in Raven claw she very smart and intellectual. She loves riddles as well and feel like it would be the right fit for her. If not Gryffindor would be a good option as well she is quick- witted, slightly impulsive and not afraid of much. She great with other people when they give her a chance and respect.

[Tany]

Heya Kylie and welcome to HPRPG~!

However, before we can sort you, we ask that you will the sheet out in third person. ^^; Once you've done that just change the title from 'pending' to 'edited' and we'll continue with your sorting from there.

[Tany]

Thank you for editing!

Onto the sheet~! First, she wouldn't have been able to turn her neighbor's yard blue without the Ministry's interference, because that would result in removing the memories of neighbors and a lot of other messy things. Generally, the first brush with magic is minimal at best, and isn't something that happens a lot. You mention she doesn't do anything but the random burst of uncontrolled magic and I just want to make sure that this isn't something that Kylie does on a daily basis/is controllable for her. Setting one of her gran's wigs on fire is fine, though. ^^ Additionally, could you give us a bit more of Kylie's history? I know you say she does nothing, but we don't really get a feel for who Kylie is or how she really grew up. Feel free to look at some approved sheets for a better grasp of this. ^^

Second, you need at least three strengths and your opening sentence in her weaknesses confuses me somewhat. ^^; What do you mean she tries to go as far as possible without any help? Additionally, give us some 'why's. Your strengths and weaknesses are currently very skeleton-like and could use some meat. Why is nobility and trustworthiness important strengths, why will she do well in the classes stated, why is being outgoing a weakness, etc?

You know the drill with the title- just change it when you've made the above edits!

[Jayce]

As it's been over two weeks since we've last asked you to make changes, I'm going to deny this character sheet for now. Please feel free to post your sheet again at a later date with the requested changes!