Topic: Elena Riddle - Approved [S]

[Elena Riddle]

First and Last Name: Elena Riddle

Bloodline: Pure

Hair Color: Auburn

Eye Color: Brown

General Build: Petite

Height: Tall

Birthplace: London, England

Brief Childhood History:
   Elena had been brought up in a pure blood wizard family. Her mother and father both come from a long line of pure blood families and expect her to continue this line. Her mother started teaching her the basics of magic when she was six years old along side her home schooling. She was later taught how to properly ride a broomstick,  although she was never allowed out of the yard that surrounded the house. She also has three little brothers who are Nathanial,7, Jacob,5, and Elliot,2. She also has two older sisters, Amelia and Mariginae.
   Elena gets along relatively well with her younger siblings, though they do has their spats every now and then. When Elena was nine years old her father died of mysterious circumstances. He and her mother were slytherin, so she decided after his death that she would make it her life's goal to become a member of the slytherin  house as her mother, father, and sisters before her have.

Strengths: Elena is strongest in Defense against the Dark Arts and Potions. Those are the arts she watched and learned from her mother. She is also very courageous, an attribute she gets from her father, and thinks about the well being of herself and her close friends. Another class Elena is strongest in is History of Magic. History has always interested her and she is always the one taking notes and exceeding expectations.

Weaknesses: Divination is her weakest class, she does not posses the seeing eye, she also tends to be a little vile and rude to some people outside of her social circle because she was picked on about her fathers death from other wizard children. Another weakness she has is Astronomy, the stars just don't seem to interest her and she sees no point in them because she would rather it be pitch black.

What House You Feel Your Character Belongs In and Why: She feels that she belongs in slytherin because her attitude reflects one of a slytherin, she is clever, cunning, and hard-working, and she wishes fulfill her mother's wishes by following in her Father's footsteps.

[Sue]

Hi and welcome to HPRPG

First and foremost, though you haven't put it in your character sheet, you've got it in your profile that Elena is the daughter of Tom Riddle. This isn't allowed for 2 reasons. One, we don't allow any canon relations here. Please check the rules and FAQ for details. For another, that's just not canon. Tom Riddle didn't have any children in the books. Also, you might want to remove the part about always being on the cellphone, too. Purebloods generally don't use muggle electronics, and it wouldn't be allowed at Hogwarts anyway, since electronics don't work around the magical interference.

Onto your character sheet!  First, I'd like you to go back and please check for spelling and grammatical errors all through the sheet. You switched to present tense in the weaknesses and house sections, so you'll need to switch that back to past tense. (She's instead of I's)


Once you've made these changes, we can proceed. Switch your title from 'pending' to 'edited' and someone will have another look.

[Tany]

First and foremost, though you haven't put it in your character sheet, you've got it in your profile that Elena is the daughter of Tom Riddle. This isn't allowed for 2 reasons. One, we don't allow any canon relations here. Please check the rules and FAQ for details. For another, that's just not canon. Tom Riddle didn't have any children in the books. Also, you might want to remove the part about always being on the cellphone, too. Purebloods generally don't use muggle electronics, and it wouldn't be allowed at Hogwarts anyway, since electronics don't work around the magical interference.

Don't forget to remove that from your profile, love. :3

Thank you for editing! But there's still a bit more we need to ask of you-- could you give us a bit more fleshed out details in her history as well as her strengths and weaknesses? Maybe her parents and siblings names? Maybe a bit more of what she did as a child, was she home-schooled, that sort of thing? As for her strengths and weaknesses, they're currently very surface-- maybe delve into them and give us some 'why' behind everything? Why is she courageous (a Gryffindor trait), why is she rude? Maybe a few more, as well; the minimum is three.

You know the drill with the title. ;3

[Tany]

Thank you again for editing~

Two more things and then I think we're good. :3 First, if you're changing her last name you're going to have to re-register so that your username matches your character name. You're welcome to use the surname 'Riddle', you just cannot use the canon family as someone Elena is related to.

And second, we need at least three academic and personality strengths and weaknesses, so we still need a bit more fleshing out down there. <3

Again, you know the drill with the title.

[Jayce]

Hi there! Thank you for making the edits!

Unfortunately, there are just two more things that need to be taken care of.

In the weaknesses section, I don't suppose you meant Astronomy? Astrology isn't taught at Hogwarts.

And I'll need a stronger reason for why Elena belongs in Slytherin. There really is no such thing as a "Slytherin attitude", although there are definitely Slytherin characteristics that Elena can have, which are: clever, resourceful, determined, ambitious, shrewd, achievement-orientated, strong leaders, self-preserving. So if you could edit the sheet and tell us which of these characteristics Elena portrays, that would be great!

And once again, just chance the title.

[Jayce]

Since Slytherin is closed at the moment, I'm going to stick you onto the waiting list. If at any point you would like to change Elena's house, simply edit the sheet accordingly and reply here.

[Tany]